This came from a combination of my belief that, in general, women "think" with their brains, their hearts, and their intuition and that, in general, men "think" with their brains, their penises, and their intuition, (which led me to wonder - if a man is impotent does he still think with his penis?) and watching someone I care about a lot fall in love with the same man for the second time in 5 years.
Dear Sir;
We have met
from time to time although you may not remember me. I am Petunia’s brain. Normally I play a leading role in her life. Recently, however, she has been ignoring me and paying strong
attention to her heart and intuition – or gut as she sometimes calls it.
We’ve all
heard the expression “brain’s up her ass”. I myself would never sink to that level. Apparently her heart and intuition have no such reservations and
from my observations appear to be firmly lodged up her derriere at the moment
with the result that she has turned into some kind of pollyanna clone,
believing that anything is possible if you’re determined. Thus our normally perfect partnership is not
working and I find myself at odds with Petunia’s heart and Petunia’s intuition.
Bear with
me while I summarize the current situation.
After two
years of hell, last October she finally told the insane bastard that he had to
get out. I had been telling her for two years to dump the bum but she was in full
pollyanna mode. An aside – I just reread this and feel that this is a bit
harsh. She knew that it would never
really work, that this would never be the kind of relationship she had hoped
for, but through some sense of guilt, and not wanting to fail again, had
decided that she would see things through and stay in the relationship. Misguided, yes. The rages and threats finally convinced her that she was in
physical danger. Thank goodness!
So the wormturd
left and Petunia smiled again and was even heard to laugh once in a while. She worked long days, 14 to 16 hours, 7 days
a week. She will not be living under a
bridge eating cat food in 10 years. Of
course if she doesn’t back off a bit and get a life she may not be around in 10
years but that’s another letter.
I mentioned
two years of hell earlier. One of the
victims during this period was her writing. She did no personal writing and stopped corresponding with friends, you
among them.
Early this
year you re-established contact and the correspondence was renewed. This resulted in an invitation for you to
visit, which you did. She had some
concerns prior to the visit and did tell you about them. One that she – in fact I - didn’t consider
was that she would fall in love with you again. I take full responsibility for the oversight and am doing my best
to rectify my error but she is ignoring me.
I remind
her that this is not a situation in which a responsible, mature, woman should
find herself. Never fall in love with a
man who hasn’t fallen in love with you first! Don’t you know little fool you never … hmmm, intrusive song lyrics are
not a good sign.
Think about
last time, I say.
Ah, says
her heart, last time was different.
Oh sure,
every time’s different.
No, really,
it was different. She was in that gooey
kind of love, 2gether 4ever in a rose covered cottage kind of love. This time is calmer, surer. She knows what’s possible and what
isn’t. She’s different. Really, it’s
better.
And maybe
it is. BUT, are you different? That’s the important question that her heart
and her intuition are not asking. It’s
fallen to me to ask it and ancillary questions. Her intuition is convinced that you love her. That may be but it isn’t the issue. Are you any less afraid of being hurt than
you were 5 years ago? Any more able to
trust? Any more able to reach out? Her intuition believes that these were your
issues at the time. I apologize if this
wasn’t the case.
Her
intuition says that you are but that you need some space right now. I have my own interpretation of the
distancing behaviour that you seem to have been exhibiting but am willing to
suspend judgment for the moment. No one
is listening to me right now anyway. I
do take my responsibility seriously. If
I’m wrong them I will be the first to admit it, and happily. She is a wonderful woman and deserves to be
loved. No one will be more pleased than
I if my concerns prove to be misplaced.
You may be
feeling that I’m presuming a lot based on our short re-acquaintance but if you
are able to reassure me in any way it would be appreciated.
Yours
truly,
Petunia’s
brain
